Awkward

Let’s set the mood here with this one. I want you to watch this amazing video by the 2 Cellos.  Think back to the “good ole’ days” and sing along if you know the words, only this time, insert the word “Awkward” every time you usually say “Thunder”.  Mood set-for some of my greatest Mom moments.

2 Cellos

You’re feeling it now…Song playing over and over again in your head (your welcome).  Bouncing to the rhythm, inner dialogue taking place.  Your ready…proceed….

I have realized lately that maybe the greatest moments of motherhood exist not in the big decisions, i.e. what school for them to attend, or sport they should participate in,  but instead in the small every day situations.  Maybe it is in our everyday dealings that we craft our children to become what they are when they age.  I wonder…If I made different decisions, would they become different adults.  I digress.  Enjoy and I hope to all that is holy that I am not the only mom that thinks this way.

Those awkward moments of motherhood:

Situation: Tiny Sidekick Poops in the tub.  (it happens)

Inner Dialogue:  I wonder if I can hurry and get them washed before I drain the water and clean the tub?

Decision:  Fine…Kids out, tub washed, re-enter for an official butt washing and cleaning.  30 minutes of time wasted.

 

Situation:  Slightly bigger sidekick throwing medium sized tantrum in store aisle.  (I say medium because even the leg kicking, screaming at the top of lungs-doesn’t compare to some I have seen at home.)

Inner Dialogue: There is an emergency exit right there.  I can run out the door screaming “I wish someone would control their child” and make my way around the store to my car.

Decision:  Smile politely at all passerby’s while teaching a lesson, “we don’t get everything we want,” and “throwing a fit, won’t help you get more.”

 

Situation:  Tiny one decides for the third week in a row that 5:30 is the appropriate time to wake up.

Inner Dialogue:  If I close my eyes and pretend I don’t hear him, will he go back to sleep…no?….I wonder if I got a small mini fridge and stocked it with bottles, could he open it and help himself? (not those kind of bottles people-I do have a line)

Decision:  A grumpy wake-up to address tiny needs in a very big world.

 

Situation:  Running short on time, but really wanting to ensure children get a well balanced meal, unfortunately, the news and all my Facebook friends just informed me, that the microwave removes 90% of nutrients from food.

Inner Dialogue:  By giving them the microwave steamed broccoli they are still getting 10% more nutrients than they would otherwise.

Decision:  Dinner can wait….Oh, who am I kidding, Pampered Chef that broccoli baby.  We can’t be perfect.  Next time I will do better.

 

Situation: A day out where I know I will see people that I know.   Bigger Sidekick would really like to dress herself in pretty dress with checkered leggin’s and a super duper awesome bow!

Inner Dialogue:  She can’t go out in that.  People will think I don’t care.  Does she really think that looks good? Where do kids come up with this?  Actually those shoes do kind of sparkle like the bow, maybe it will work.  But the hero cape and mask..hmmm..Ugh.

Decision: Refuse to crush that tiny spirit inside.  “Rock it Princess.  Let that inner diva shine!”

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Situation: Tiny one poops, but I have just five minutes left of my show.

Inner Dialogue:  Nobody can smell it. He will be okay.  Does this make me a bad mom?  Why couldn’t you have waited oh tiny one?

Decision: Butts must be changed, but truly what is it with boys and poop?  Their timing…it’s crazy.

 

Situation:  Just 20 more minutes of work today and then we can enjoy our time, but kids are screaming in the background.

Inner Dialogue:  I started first thing this morning, so I could play with them.  Why can’t they just get along?  Maybe if I give them ice cream, unattended for breakfast, they will stop all this nonsense?

Decision:  Ice Cream. Clearly that was the right choice.

 

Situation: A quiet moment, while using the bathroom. Tiny hand sticking under the bathroom door waiting.

Inner Dialogue: I wonder how long I can milk this quiet time?  This chocolate bar is delicious, will they smell it on my breath?

Decision:  Shove chocolate in face, read last page of book and exit bathroom with a closed lip smile.  Pat child’s head on your way by.

 

Situation: Child screams bloody murder in the middle of the night.  They had a bad dream.

Inner Dialogue:  Someone is trying to steal them.  Bolt Upright and run to child’s bedside.  Child is crying and in tears about a bad dream they had.  Someone called them toothpaste face, it’s terrifying I am sure.  Please just buck-up buttercup and go back to sleep.  Mommy just fell asleep and is exhausted.  Can’t they do this on their own?

Decision:  “Come here honey.” Big Hugs!  Why don’t you paste your hot, constantly wiggling body to my side for the rest of the night so we can both get some deep fantastic sleep!  “Mommy Loves you!”

 

Situation:  My older niece and nephew and the epic battle of homework.  “Why do I have to learn this?  Why does it matter how I got the answer? This is how I think, why isn’t it right?”

Inner Dialogue:  Truly, you will never, ever use this in your whole adult life.  I have no idea how you got that, even if it is right.  Can I blame the common core? Everyone else does.  Most of school is really a waste, it’s the social part that really matters. Oh and the grades so you can get a scholarship and go to college so you can meet really great people (and/or get a piece of paper to help you get a better job-which is really-really important and will change your life).

Decision:  Encourage child to keep trying. “You may use this. How did your teacher show you to do it? Let’s do it that way.  That way you can get it right every time, not just this time when it happened to work out.”

It’s the tiny moments people. I am sure of it.  I may not always make the right decisions, but trying is half the battle right?  Please tell me you think this way.  Share with me your examples if you can. It will make me feel better and/or laugh my butt off.  I’m classy like that, really!

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