Tag Archives: because I am a mom

The Wonderful Lady

I am currently in the process of a long goodbye.  I’m losing my grandmother.  The mother of my mother.  The last tie I truly have.  You see, there is an order.  Parents should never lose a child.  I have always understood this looking at it as a parent myself, but I never took the time to really think about the other end of things.  I am losing my grandmother. A wonderful woman.  A motherly figure in my life. It is at times like this I really miss my mom.  I should have here now.  We should be leaning on each other.

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I laid next to my grandmother today and I swear I could smell my mother.  The curve of her chin bone could almost have been hers too.  They are a piece of one another.  A piece of me.  I am going to miss her.  I am going to miss the small piece of my mother that was also still her lingering with my grandmother.  There are so many things I will miss.


I learned so much from this wise grandmother of mine.  She loves so deeply.  She is a truly, genuinely, good person.

She had such a strong love.  We were her dolly’s.  We were her precious darlings, so loved.  We were the best at violin, the best at sports, the best at plays…the best.  She was our biggest fan.  She came to every sporting event I ever had.  She and grandpa would sit up close and cheer ever so softly.  Yet the softness of her voice, would reach me and I knew she was there.  She came to every play. Whether it be in school, a talent show, or just in her basement with the cousins she was front row.  She was a whole audience all to herself.


She was the very best storyteller.  She would read us stories when we were younger and she had a thousand voices.  She could also tell a story about grandpa that would light up the very room.  The time they first met when he gathered her hat.  The time on the bus where he pretended to be asleep on her shoulder and she all but held her breath so she wouldn’t move and make him stir from his pretend sleep.  The time he made her wait for a wedding ring because she hadn’t been sure, but then she was and he was not taking her back.  But then he did. About the times he held  her hand and sang, “I love you, a bushel and a peck.”

Grandma was a hard worker too.  Everything in her house ran like a well oiled machine.  It’s possible that this was because everything was used a minimum of 10 times. This goes for plastic bags and foil too.  Things knew what to do because they were well-worn in. Like her coat and her boots and every single turtleneck. She didn’t waste.  Not a thing.  She ate everything on her plate and only served what she could finish.  She was in charge of feeding the whole cattle crew in the desert.  She pulled off the meals while watching the little ones and keeping the camp clean.  That is no easy chore.

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My sidekick would use this term, but it fits best for grandma.  She’s the cheese on the pizza that keeps all the toppings in place.  There is something about grandma that she can make everyone come together and stick together even when this is the last thing they want to do.  There has been a family reunion every year.  Every single year.  For grandma.  She knows whats going on with everyone too and can remember every reason for every one that couldn’t make it. She not only knows and remembers all of her great-grandkid’s name, but she knows what they like, their favorite color, and things to say to make them smile.


My “sisters” and I sat today and talked about grandma.  We talked about how sleepovers were the very best.  She would let us have two vitamin c’s before bed.  Just two because any more than that would overdose us.  Then she would take us downstairs and let us jump from bed to bed about four times.  She would have us lay down on her feather pillows, tuck the blankets around us tight then lift just a corner so she could put the hair dryer in there to warm us up.  She would tell us just to lay still like that and we would stay warm.  Then she would read us only 1 story, then come back for at least one more before we finally went to sleep.  Then we would wake to the best pancakes ever.  She also makes the best wheat bread and sugar cookies.


We also decided that grandma is going to have a few black marks against her in Heaven.  She is a fibber.  This grandma of mine can tell you a story so tall you would think it is a tree and not even change her face.  Such as: “I feel great.” “It was a wonderful, just wonderful day.” “You are the very best at that.” “You are the most beautiful.”

Although…now that I look at it.  Maybe she wasn’t really fibbing all these years.  Maybe she really believed those things because she just has an incredible perspective and outlook on life.  I hope to be like her someday.


We spent hours spitting seeds from frozen cherries and peeling rhubarb so we could put salt on it and eat it. Grandma could spit the farthest every time.  She taught us how to roll the legs of our pants up to wade in the river and showed us that you can be down to earth and classy at the same time.   A few months ago I went to her house and she was just feeling frumpy.  I gave her a quick trim and set to work for a quick manicure.  I never knew that my grandma was very particular about her nails, but I learned pretty quick that day as she made sure I did them just right. I realized then, more than any other time that she was more like my mother than I think she ever knew.


She loved looking out her windows and playing with the kids.  The noise didn’t bother her at all and if she could, she would be up with them every step of the way.  Like playing swords and pirates with my wee child because that was important to my girl so it was important to my grandma.

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She made the best special blankets.  She always had juice and ice cream for the kids.  Ice cream bars or vanilla ice cream with chocolate powder.  She cherished every drawing, colored page and picture because they were treasures and just so precious.


I think that is the greatest lesson I learned from my grandma.  I matter.  Everyone matters.  She sees the best in everyone.  She blocks out the bad and only sees the good because that is what matters.  Everything else…well…”it’s just whatever, it doesn’t matter anyway.”

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Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

It has been three years since you left me. Three years since I last talked with you. Three years.  So much has happened in these three years.  So many things.

  • Your grandson was born.  He’s incredible Mom.  He’s funny and sweet.  He was born without you.  He had his first bath without you. He crawled, he walked and he is finding his words.  He had 2 surgeries and one very scary time in the hospital with an illness.  I needed you.  He needed you. You weren’t there.
  • I quit my job.  The one that I loved.  I am home now, with my kids who need me more.  You would be so proud of me.  You always told me that I would be able to make it work and I do.  I work a lot of a little jobs but we make it and my kids are happy.  I figured it out now, even though there were so many times I grabbed the phone to call you, to discuss, to talk.  You didn’t answer.
  • I’ve run hundreds of miles. I’ve flown thousands. I have taken lots of classes and read lots of books.  I would have loved to share my journey with you.
  • I’ve written more books, and have a story that is actually published.  You didn’t get to read it.
  • I’ve learned to cook so many things that you would have loved to eat.  My small one loves to cook too.  You never got to try them.
  • I’ve moved.  I live in a home that I love, in a place that I love and that you would have too.  You’ve never been in my home and I have no memories of you here.
  • My Honey Cuffs are helping kids.  You helped me make the first one, but you didn’t get to see the patent in my hands.  You didn’t get to hear all the people they have helped.  You missed this.
  • Art has  new job too.  He’s good at it.  I am proud of him.  We would have even more in common and something to talk about.  We can’t share this.
  • Your granddaughter can read now.  She dances lovely.  She loves to sing and is so sweet mom.  She would make you laugh.  She hasn’t got to hear your laughter in three whole years.

I haven’t got to hear your laughter in three whole years.  People say it gets easier.  People lie.  I have learned to adapt my life.  It’s just my life now, with a piece missing.  A mostly complete puzzle.  I notice the piece is missing. I imagine what is there and I put that forward, a whole puzzle to the world. That piece is still missing. I always miss you.  Some day’s it is easier than others.  But there are times, Mom, times when I want to scream. Times that I feel are just so hard that my soul seeps right out through my eyes.  Times when my heart misses you so much that it balls up in my chest and I realize in those times that life just isn’t fair.

Sometimes the hard times come when I am least expecting them.  Sometimes it’s when I am cleaning my house.  When I am dusting off your ashes.  Keeping them clean so that somehow in my heart I can feel like you are watching over me, over my kids, but sometimes it just feels too hard.  There shouldn’t be dust on you.  You should be here.  I am thankful I have that memorial in my home.  My most treasured place includes you, my mom.  But then I miss you, we circle, and I just feel like crying again.

It happens every time my sidekick makes a wish.  Pennies, stars, eyelashes, and candles. Every one is a wish for Mimi to come back.  Every single one ends in tears.  How can I teach about dreams and hopes when I always have to say, “try again”.  How can I say it’s a beautiful world when she remembers everything. She remembers you and she misses you.  We all miss you.

It happens when I smell something that reminds me of you. It happens when I read a good book that I want to share with you. It happens with I get worked up and angry over something someone said and I know you would have a reasonable suggestion for interpretation that isn’t evil.  It happens when I drive, when I used to call you.  It happens on the boat. It happens when I sing, dance, or play your guitar.  It happens when my kids do something awesome that I know you would have liked. It happens today, on your birthday, on mother’s day, on my birthday, and the whole Christmas season.  It happens all the time. I miss talking to you. I wish I could talk about you more.  People skip the subject, they don’t want to see me cry.  They don’t want me to be sad, but the reality is, I like to know others remember  you too. I need to talk about you.  Three years gone. Three.  Where have you been?  I still need my mom. You have missed so much and we miss you too.

I love you Mom.




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Old Love

He sat upright in his chair.  Cancer causing pain to pulse through his bones.   If he just held still, he could keep it at bay.  She came to him, aged beauty, and fluffed his pillow.  He patted her hand.  Years of care-taking, years of love.  When he looked at her he saw babies, family, and meals in the kitchen and from a cooler on the mountain.  When he looked at her he felt whole, seeing more now with his heart than his eyes.  She was unwell today.  She was his wife.


His body said there was nothing he could do, but his soul reached for her.  The love in his heart was stronger than the pain crushing him now.  He should call for help but instead he held her hand and walked her to car.  He drove blind to the Doctor.  He was her man. She his responsibility.  This old farmer had one more ride.  One more time to care for his bride.  The cancer made him angry, made him mean, but his heart still pulsed for her and when she needed him most he answered the call.


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An Introduction to a Great New Friend: Dutch Hollow

Today I was brave.  I have been enjoying running-especially on trails and have been wanting to try my hand at Dutch Hollow.  I have seen so many incredible pictures and memories made, but I was always waiting for the right time, or the right invite at the right time.  That doesn’t often happen with my crazy scheduling. There is also something a little intimidating about running someplace like this without a whole crew.  A few weeks ago I joined a group of runners for a full moon run and had such a great time.  I had put off going for so long, worried that I would be the slowest one there, or that I wouldn’t be able to go the distance, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that the group was full of runners of all levels.  It gave me great confidence in myself as a runner that no matter the level if you run, you too are a runner.

I decided to venture out and up, on my own today.  I can do this….  Although the distance isn’t long, It’s up.  I caught myself smiling. I arrived at my first peak.  The view was beautiful and my heart was filled with such joy.  I sat on the top of the hill for a minute and reminisced about the many trail runs I went on with my mother.  She was full of such badassery that if you looked up that word in my hypothetical dictionary, I am certain it would say next to it: “Lucy”.  I felt a little like her on the top of that peak.

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It wasn’t enough though, I decided to push on through the mud, ice, snow, dirt, slick rock and even grass to another peak, just so I could see the other side.  Whew….breathtaking.

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I love this.  I am looking forward to pushing myself to more distance and more challenge. I love the course and the active aspect of a trail run.  I love the climb.  This is my jam…..

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What a beautiful day.  My shoes were screaming “No More” but my heart was saying bring it on.  Loved this.  So blessed I live where I do.  image4 (1)Selfie overload…but hey.  Looking forward to many more runs in this beautiful place I call home.  Also to many more thoughts/runs with my mom.

On that note. image5 (1)Too soon?


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Winter Harvest Casserole

I have more exciting news coming soon, but for today, I thought I would share a recipe. We love food at our house and I just joined a recipe swap group which I am really excited about.

Today was Bountiful Baskets Day (Co-op fruit and veggies) so I looked at what we had and tried to come up with something.  I wanted to make sure it was loaded with nutrients, but I am a comfort food lover at heart, so I made a casserole.  I would like to say that it is a quick meal, but it is not.  It is time-consuming (probably and hour prep time), but it includes wine-so there’s that.  I hope you enjoy it as much as my family (especially my sidekicks) did.


1 Head cauliflower cut into small florets

6 Stalks of Celery sliced

2 large carrots sliced

5 small yellow potatoes sliced

6 TBLS Olive Oil

1 tsp Ground Mustard

1 tsp Kosher salt

¼ tsp pepper

4 cups chopped Chinese Cabbage

3 slices wheat bread cut into croutons

1 clove garlic, minced


Cheese Sauce

1/3 cup white wine

1 clove garlic, minced

2 cups milk

1 ½ TBLS Flour

1 tsp Kosher Salt

½ tsp pepper

2 cups Jack Cheese


Pre-heat oven to 475.  Chop and mix cauliflower, celery, carrots and potatoes in a large bowl.


In a small bowl mix together 5 TBLS Olive Oil, Ground Mustard, Kosher salt, and pepper.

Toss chopped vegetables in oil mixture.  Lay flat on a large cookie sheet and bake 10-12 minutes.

While vegetables cook, put remaining 1 TBLS olive oil and clove garlic in saute pan. Then add chopped cabbage stirring often until tender.

In medium saucepan begin cheese sauce. Mix wine and garlic clove and bring to a boil.  Boil until 1 TBLS wine remains.  Add flour, then milk, salt and pepper.  Whisk until mixed, frothy and starting to thicken.  Add 2 cups cheese.

Put baked vegetables in a casserole dish, mix cabbage in with vegetables and cover with cheese sauce (I mixed in).


Chop 3 slices of wheat bread and cover on top.


Reduce heat to 375 and bake for 30 minutes or until bubbling and bread is browned and crisp.

Enjoy your nutrient rich, delicious side.  Casserole pairs great with chicken or fish and (looks around to find bottle of white wine empty) a bottle glass of Merlot.

Then pat yourself on the back because you are eating a diverse and healthy dish.  Even the grapes in the wine count right?  That’s fruit. Happy Winter Harvest.


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Cowboy Christmas

Cowboy Christmas

‘Twas the night before Christmas and in our small town

For Christmas Eve groceries-there are none to be found

All citizens are celebrating at the town hall

In looking around-I’m related to them all

It’s a family affair to celebrate this day

But wait, an outsider who showed them the way?

They came in so quietly in their fur covered shoes

With a scarf, long coat and some clear colored booze

We all said hello and welcomed her here

But inside we were wondering why she stole the cheer

She sat in the corner and made some small talk

Then asked where tomorrow she could go for a walk

We all looked in awe at this city lady

No walking on Christmas, that’s a day to be lazy

The night ended quickly and we returned to our beds

Waiting for Santa-our scriptures we read

We said thanks to Jesus for all that he did

Then in anticipation, we tucked in each kid

It was early the next morning as I flew out of bed

Not lazy this morning, there are cows to be fed

I rushed to the field with barely a light

After-all, when work starts it’s really still night

Eyes to the sky I watched with such glee

Waiting for Santa, hoping to see

But instead of a sleigh across the bright sky

It was the city slicker walking-boots knee-high

She waved at me, jolly, from across the way

I tipped my hat, “good morning” it’d say

She stood there, just staring, watching me work

I just kept on moving, she’d think me a jerk

Then out of her bag a camera did appear

Then flashes and clicks the cows ran in fear

I simply smiled but inside I did not

She wants a show-then a show I have got

So I reached my hand all covered in muck

And scratched my own butt and made sure some stuck

I let one fly so loud and so long

Then added a burp it was almost a song

Then placing my finger a side of my nose

I breathed in deep and then let out a blow

Snot went a flying so straight and so true

I was not photographic and now she knew

The look on her face was not that of joy

So off she went walking with her silly camera toy

I finished my chores and returned to my home

To spend a few minutes with my family alone

Santa had been here, I hadn’t seen a thing

But I guess that’s okay for gifts he did bring

The children will play with their toys in a while

Outside in the snow, the mud and hay pile

Friends will come from all over the town

Asking, “what did you get?” not a frown to be found

We’ll invite our new friend to join us for chow

She’s an outsider, true, but she’s one of us now

One of many reasons to live in this place

With mountains and valleys and lots of real space

The kids will wake up and their smiles I’ll see

Then back to the field is where I will be

It’s a slow day that’s true I’m taking some time

But the cows and that field, the responsibility’s mine

Coffee in hand the kids start to rise

I can’t wait to see the joy in their eyes

I look out the window, and a light flashes from sight.

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night”

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Dear Me

Dear Much Older, Much Wiser Me:

If the advice I am often given and the articles I am reading are correct, then you are looking back on our life and wishing you would have done at least a few things differently.  You are wishing you would have let more things go.  You would have let the floors hold just a little more dirt while you sat right in the middle playing cars with your kids.  You would have chosen not to take that extra job so instead of being in front of the computer, you could instead be reading a book to your sidekicks.  You would have done with a little less stuff and instead spent a little more time.  You would have yelled less and hugged more.  After-all, the time went so quickly, you would have embraced every moment.  You are probably looking at your life wondering if you could have done better.  Wondering if you failed.  Wondering why you didn’t try harder.


Just in case that’s you, I want to tell you just a few things.

You feel the same way now.  At the end of every day you reflect and wish you would have done more.  You wish you would have spent more time with the kids.  You are worried you are doing it all wrong and that you are screwing it all up.  You worry that every time you yell, you are doing damaging harm.  You worry that every time you shoo your sidekicks away as you take an important call that you are wasting precious moments.  Especially on those days when you had one thing after another and didn’t get even a smidgen of a chance to really focus and play, those days you really feel it.  Then you worry that maybe you are focusing too much on your kids and not enough on your husband who you also love very much and who is working just as hard as you, and then wait, are you enabling your children too much?

You don’t get enough sleep.  You have so much to do.  Especially in December when you are trying so hard to get things right.  For no other reason than that you want to see your sidekicks smile.  It’s fun, but it’s exhausting. I think as you are looking back you are forgetting just how tired you are.  That down time, the alone time you feel you have too much of now, you didn’t have enough then.  I promise.


I just finished folding laundry and cleaning the house today.  I know you think maybe I should let it go a little more and spend a little more time, but I worry about the little buggers that are ours.  They can’t live in filth.  What about the lesson about appreciating the things we work for?  I’m teaching them that, so hopefully you don’t have to bail them out in the future because they never learned.

I make sure they eat healthy, most of the time, and worry about me to.  Not because I really worry about me, but because I am worried about you.  I hope you are healthy and happy.  I hope instead of wishing you would have spent more time just living it up, you feel gratitude that at least a small focus was on health and wellness.

I know you are thinking that you wish you would have worked a little less, you did want to be home with the kids right?  But here’s the thing.  I worry about you too.  I don’t want you to have all the stress of catch up.  You are sitting there (I hope) not in a financial pinch, but instead living comfortably.  I did that for you, while raising our kids and keeping the home.  Of course not alone, our husband did that too, but we tried to do our part.  Remember that next time you wish you would have done it differently.

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Our kids laugh, you laugh.  You love being a mom more than anything.  They are incredible souls that are so amazing.  Life is really, really great.  You are happy and enjoying it, right now in the moment.  You are embracing it and feeling joy and pride at what you are accomplishing every day.  You despise the articles that make you feel guilty and then hold them close to your heart just trying to embrace them too.  It’s a very awkward (but totally fun and thrilling) dance.


But sometimes you still yell, but only after speaking at least twice.  It’s trying after-all.  The kids leave messes.  They throw things.  They spill juice. They break things.  They fight with each other. They go out the doggie-door. They throw eggs.  They pull your hair.  They ask you the same damn question 62 times in a row. They dump crackers on the bed. They color on the walls.  They hate sleeping. They cry and throw fits. They puke and they poop.  They wake you up at night just because they can. They push your buttons.  All on purpose.  All at the same time.  They act differently for Grandma.  Oh, and you’re tired, frustrated, and wishing you were doing better.  So you yell and immediately feel bad.  Then you dance in the kitchen with your sidekicks, play chase, and eat popcorn (and drink wine) because it’s fun and they  (you) deserve it.


Trust me when I say, what you are feeling, so am I.  I am doing the very best I can to be a woman who will make you proud.  I don’t want you to look back and wish I would have done better.  But just in case you are, here’s a little note to assure you that I wish I could do better too, but I am honestly, completely doing the very best that I can every day.  I love our sidekicks and our husband too.  FYI…I also love you.

From a younger, only a little wise,


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I have been watching the news of Michael Brown and the Ferguson Police Department for the past two days.  I have seen so much hatred.  I then pull up social media and find so much of the same on the feed.  I thought of remaining quiet, but I can’t.

Where does this hatred for all of our police officers come from?  Are we so naive to think that the only actions our officers take are those that make the front page of the media?  Do we forget what they do everyday?

Not long ago I wrote this.  It is so disheartening to see the lack of support for those who give so much to our community.  It appears that as a community we only want the police when we need the police.  Does that mean that because you are not in a time of need that someone else is not?  We all know that the rate of violent crimes are increasing nationwide. We also know that the number of police officers being shot or ambushed is also on the rise.  Does that not mean that officers also need to increase their level of self-preservation?  I wonder if we asked Officer’s Johnson’s family their thoughts what they might say?

Instead we respond with, hate, rioting, stealing from the innocent, public negative posts about the whole-whose members hope to protect us.

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When you are running away from a situation, they are running in.  How many guns or weapons do you encounter on your job in a given day? How many people threaten to kill you, or hit you?  How many people per day say, “I hate you scum pig?”  If this happened everyday would you go back to work?  When you saw that same name calling, hating citizen in the street bleeding, would you then run to give aid?  The police officer does.  Everyday the police officer does.

Please don’t think that these situations don’t add up.  Don’t think that the officers involved in job related shootings aren’t going home wishing that instead they would have had a day off.  They were called there, to the scene by you or me.  They didn’t pick to go, someone said “help me.” It is so incredibly sad that a young man lost his life. There were decisions on both sides that led to that.  In every shooting situation there is a sad outcome with many stories.  You may say that some officers are bad.  That may be the case, but certainly not all.  Some teachers are bad. Some electricians are bad.  Some contractors are bad. Does that make them all bad?

If you hate the police I can make a simple educated assumption that the reason is that you have had a negative interaction i.e. you were breaking the law and/or guilty of breaking the law and/or wanting to break the law and/or hiding something.  Right?  These officers are there to keep the peace, to protect us, to walk in when we run out.  These officers are good and they do good and deserve respect as a whole.  Anger at one officer should not be portrayed to all.

I hope that the day does not come when you “need” an officer. I hope that the time does not force you to respect and support. I know I will never change someones opinion or thoughts but I hope as you think of these things that maybe you start to change yourself.  Put your energy of hate and asking for change instead to the abused child, instead to the schools who need support to keep weapons out of their doors, instead to stopping the drugs that are finding themselves in elementary school kid’s hands.

Thank you to the good officers out there.  To the ones who continue to go to work everyday to protect me and my family. Go home safe to your family!

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From Relay Race to Real Life

This last weekend I participated in a relay running event here in Park City.  I along with my 6 teammates (yes 6-in a world of 6 man relay teams-we run with 7) we ran just under 67 miles.  This was my first relay race and was an incredible experience.  There are so many things that I could touch on that change a person but instead I will share just a few of our slogans that will change the way that I will embrace life.

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“Embrace the Suck”

This was our team motto and was written on the side of our ride.  A military motto that we chose to help push us forward even though our mission was nothing in comparison to those that represent our freedom.  It did, however, make an impact on not only us but in other teams struggling that day.  Sometimes things suck-but if we make it to the other side-we gain power.

“I’m All In”

One teammate in particular embraces all of life this way and we couldn’t help but be pulled into the enthusiasm as we embarked on our journey.  Really, this is the only way to live.  Either you are in, or you are out.  Focus on what matters and make sure it counts.

“I hate Royal Street”

Okay this one, maybe doesn’t make as much sense to some, but it applies, everyday.  Even though this teammate now officially hates Royal Street-guess what, she made it to the summit and is still kicking.  She looks back-still hating it, but is really okay.  Sometimes in life we may come across things that just plain suck.  It won’t look better tomorrow, or even ten years from now, but we are still kicking and should be very proud of ourselves for what we accomplished.

“God made me for this”

That’s right.  We have so much more strength and power than we can even imagine.  We are incredible, little perfect wonders that God made.  We can do it.  Even when it is hard-we can work harder, push further, and when all else fails-start crying and pray-but we will make it…today (right now) may be terrible and horrible, but maybe, just maybe tomorrow will be amazing.

“The wind, this hill, I feel like I am going backwards”

But you aren’t.  You are going forward and from the outside we see your struggle but girl you are moving.  Sometimes in your hardest moment you may feel that you are going the wrong way, but we see you.  Press On!

“This is endurance running-and it feels good”

Sometimes a really good challenge is the very best thing for our soul.  Pushing ourselves to do something amazing changes just about everything.  The training will improve confidence while the challenge will improve strength and the accomplishment-well that-it changes everything.

“You Are Awesome”

You are awesome-pass it on! (when he completes the video or has a link for the campaign-I will share it here)image2 (1)

I can only share my own experience but it was amazing.  I enjoyed the time spent laughing in the car and especially the feeling of being a part of something so incredible.  These people who I ran with will always be my friends.  They accomplished amazing things.  I am motivated to be more like them. They helped me accomplish something that I never could have done on my own. Thank you!


I conquered a really big hill that I had been training for–for months. (4.33 Miles at a 10.5% average uphill grade)


I got to meet my biggest support crew at the top of the summit in my husband, dad and sidekicks.  image4

I realized what incredible people my teammates were who helped keep me going up the hill even when it would have been faster to walk-I kept running. Because of them, my sister, and my kids.  I told my legs to shut-up….it worked….the next step, I said it again. It’s all about persistence.

image1 (1)All-in-all I am a big fan of relay races. I love the whole experience-even when it was hard.  I highly recommend you try this in the future.  For us, we were a bunch of “non-runners” and we did really really well.  You can do it too-I know you can!  You….Are…..Awesome!


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Learning Life Lessons In Good Clothes

I am a self-proclaimed life long learner.  Not just because I love education and believe in it, but also because I continuously make mistakes and it’s either get up and learn or lay on the floor and waste away.  Sometimes literally.  I fall a lot.

I learned a pretty big lesson this last week though from sidekick 1.  She saw me learning and even said, “Sometimes you teach me things, and sometimes I teach you things too.”  So right.  Everyday.

I was busy one morning so my well-trained one decided to help me out by picking out the outfit that I was going to wear for the day.  She selected an incredibly bright pair of leggings and an equally bright but not of same color striped tank top.  When I saw the outfit I laughed. Out loud.

“I can’t wear that, everyone will think I am crazy and they will laugh at me.”  Bad Mom.

She cried.  Real tears.  “I thought you would look so pretty in that mom.”

Shame.  Frustration at myself. Anger at my actions.

Why can’t I wear that?  Why do I worry about what others will think?  She will learn this all too soon and lose the special that makes her sparkle extra bright.  She too will try to conform in order to fit in.  Why now?  Bad mom…Let her be her.  Show her she can.

“I’m so sorry.  I do love that outfit and I will wear it.”

“No Mom.  I don’t want you get laughed at.”  Sniffle.

“I will wear whatever you want me to wear.  You know fashion so much more than me (It’s really true).”

“Okay Mom, I picked this one instead.  It’s not as bright.”

I don’t love selfies but I couldn’t resist.  (This is my best “tight pants” dance move)


You bet I rocked this in public. (no that is not pink in the pants-it’s orange) Proud of it, head held high.  I even found the nicest lady I could and secretly asked her for a compliment.  She told me that she loved my outfit.

“Did you hear that?  She loves my outfit.  See you were right.  I don’t know anything about fashion and I should listen to you more.”

“Do you like my outfit too?” She asks the lady with a smile a mile wide.  Then she twirled and did a little break dance move on the grass to the music.

I learned to “embrace myself.”  I learned that life comes far to fast in the world and I am not ready for her to have to fight it yet.  I’m not saying that social norms don’t need to be taught.  They do, but only when it defines character and shows respect.

Today I will wear my “fashiony” outfit, embrace life, and show my kids that I am still learning too. I think if we all face the world together we stand a fighting chance.


It’s a good thing she loves me and forgives me right away.  My mistakes would add up if she didn’t.  Look how cute she looks though.  She really is a doll.

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