I recently had a conversation with a dear friend of mine, that is really sticking with me. This amazing woman, and truly she is, just became a grandma. How great is that? It’s wonderful and fulfilling and something that she has always wanted, but something isn’t right. Her baby, and her grand-baby are thousands of miles away. It happens. She thought she was prepared and was ready to catch a flight, but as things happen, the baby arrived early. Grandma can’t go just yet-even though she wants to. In fact, a part of her is already there. I am sure just as much as her soul is longing to be with them, their souls collectively are reaching for her too.
I promise I am going somewhere with this.
I miss my mom. I think of her everyday. My daughter went through a little something when she was young and it was very hard on me. I called my mom, just to talk. She called me back only a few minutes later to tell me that she was on her way to my house. After urging her that she didn’t need to come she said to me, “I know you are okay, I hear you, but I need to see you both, with my own eyes, and be able to feel you.” It’s a physical thing. It wasn’t enough for her to just hear from me that we were okay, and we were, but she needed to physically see us with her own eyes for her to feel at peace.
I hear all the time that our loved ones that have passed on are with us. I believe they are and even had my own experience with John Edwards the psychic Medium, but for me, it just isn’t enough most days. It’s a physical thing and I just need to see her, to feel her. I know she is “in a better place” and “no longer suffering” but those are for her-her blessings, they just aren’t mine. When I was the daughter about to have a grand-baby, I really needed my mom-and she couldn’t be there for me as I needed her to be. I felt (and still do) that empty physical space, a black hole in my galaxy.
I am learning so much as a mother, I find that there are many times that I just need to sneak in and check on my babies so that I can physically see that they are okay, just like my mom. At the end of a difficult day, I want nothing more than to just see my husband so we can check in, to know he is okay and safe. A phone call would work, but there is so much more face to face.
When there is so much distance between you and the ones you love, does your soul feel truly at peace? For love becomes a physical connection, even more than just a longing. I believe this. I am not looking forward to the day when my previous soul tenants find themselves venturing further into the world. I will miss them. I know it already. What’s a mother to do? I guess I know…I get in the car and I drive there, so I can see with my own two eyes that all is well (at least when I can). After all, it’s a physical thing.
For now, I will treasure, the best that I can, the moments I share with others. The connections and the time I get to spend face to face. I will take pictures and create memories hoping to hang on, just a little longer. I need to fill my physical well, taking in others presence without loosing the connection by always filling it with words. Time is so short.
As for my friend. That plane will get you there faster than a bike, but your soul is going without you. You’ll make it-hang in there!