Let’s set the mood here with this one. I want you to watch this amazing video by the 2 Cellos. Think back to the “good ole’ days” and sing along if you know the words, only this time, insert the word “Awkward” every time you usually say “Thunder”. Mood set-for some of my greatest Mom moments.
You’re feeling it now…Song playing over and over again in your head (your welcome). Bouncing to the rhythm, inner dialogue taking place. Your ready…proceed….
I have realized lately that maybe the greatest moments of motherhood exist not in the big decisions, i.e. what school for them to attend, or sport they should participate in, but instead in the small every day situations. Maybe it is in our everyday dealings that we craft our children to become what they are when they age. I wonder…If I made different decisions, would they become different adults. I digress. Enjoy and I hope to all that is holy that I am not the only mom that thinks this way.
Those awkward moments of motherhood:
Situation: Tiny Sidekick Poops in the tub. (it happens)
Inner Dialogue: I wonder if I can hurry and get them washed before I drain the water and clean the tub?
Decision: Fine…Kids out, tub washed, re-enter for an official butt washing and cleaning. 30 minutes of time wasted.
Situation: Slightly bigger sidekick throwing medium sized tantrum in store aisle. (I say medium because even the leg kicking, screaming at the top of lungs-doesn’t compare to some I have seen at home.)
Inner Dialogue: There is an emergency exit right there. I can run out the door screaming “I wish someone would control their child” and make my way around the store to my car.
Decision: Smile politely at all passerby’s while teaching a lesson, “we don’t get everything we want,” and “throwing a fit, won’t help you get more.”
Situation: Tiny one decides for the third week in a row that 5:30 is the appropriate time to wake up.
Inner Dialogue: If I close my eyes and pretend I don’t hear him, will he go back to sleep…no?….I wonder if I got a small mini fridge and stocked it with bottles, could he open it and help himself? (not those kind of bottles people-I do have a line)
Decision: A grumpy wake-up to address tiny needs in a very big world.
Situation: Running short on time, but really wanting to ensure children get a well balanced meal, unfortunately, the news and all my Facebook friends just informed me, that the microwave removes 90% of nutrients from food.
Inner Dialogue: By giving them the microwave steamed broccoli they are still getting 10% more nutrients than they would otherwise.
Decision: Dinner can wait….Oh, who am I kidding, Pampered Chef that broccoli baby. We can’t be perfect. Next time I will do better.
Situation: A day out where I know I will see people that I know. Bigger Sidekick would really like to dress herself in pretty dress with checkered leggin’s and a super duper awesome bow!
Inner Dialogue: She can’t go out in that. People will think I don’t care. Does she really think that looks good? Where do kids come up with this? Actually those shoes do kind of sparkle like the bow, maybe it will work. But the hero cape and mask..hmmm..Ugh.
Decision: Refuse to crush that tiny spirit inside. “Rock it Princess. Let that inner diva shine!”
Situation: Tiny one poops, but I have just five minutes left of my show.
Inner Dialogue: Nobody can smell it. He will be okay. Does this make me a bad mom? Why couldn’t you have waited oh tiny one?
Decision: Butts must be changed, but truly what is it with boys and poop? Their timing…it’s crazy.
Situation: Just 20 more minutes of work today and then we can enjoy our time, but kids are screaming in the background.
Inner Dialogue: I started first thing this morning, so I could play with them. Why can’t they just get along? Maybe if I give them ice cream, unattended for breakfast, they will stop all this nonsense?
Decision: Ice Cream. Clearly that was the right choice.
Situation: A quiet moment, while using the bathroom. Tiny hand sticking under the bathroom door waiting.
Inner Dialogue: I wonder how long I can milk this quiet time? This chocolate bar is delicious, will they smell it on my breath?
Decision: Shove chocolate in face, read last page of book and exit bathroom with a closed lip smile. Pat child’s head on your way by.
Situation: Child screams bloody murder in the middle of the night. They had a bad dream.
Inner Dialogue: Someone is trying to steal them. Bolt Upright and run to child’s bedside. Child is crying and in tears about a bad dream they had. Someone called them toothpaste face, it’s terrifying I am sure. Please just buck-up buttercup and go back to sleep. Mommy just fell asleep and is exhausted. Can’t they do this on their own?
Decision: “Come here honey.” Big Hugs! Why don’t you paste your hot, constantly wiggling body to my side for the rest of the night so we can both get some deep fantastic sleep! “Mommy Loves you!”
Situation: My older niece and nephew and the epic battle of homework. “Why do I have to learn this? Why does it matter how I got the answer? This is how I think, why isn’t it right?”
Inner Dialogue: Truly, you will never, ever use this in your whole adult life. I have no idea how you got that, even if it is right. Can I blame the common core? Everyone else does. Most of school is really a waste, it’s the social part that really matters. Oh and the grades so you can get a scholarship and go to college so you can meet really great people (and/or get a piece of paper to help you get a better job-which is really-really important and will change your life).
Decision: Encourage child to keep trying. “You may use this. How did your teacher show you to do it? Let’s do it that way. That way you can get it right every time, not just this time when it happened to work out.”
It’s the tiny moments people. I am sure of it. I may not always make the right decisions, but trying is half the battle right? Please tell me you think this way. Share with me your examples if you can. It will make me feel better and/or laugh my butt off. I’m classy like that, really!
I recently discovered this medium called “Twitter”. I know, I am way behind the times, but I always told myself a) I am not a Twit, and b) I don’t have that much to say. However, remember that writing conference that I recently attended? In my moments of being brave and all that I could be I met one very kind person named Rae Chang. She taught me a little something about Twitter in just one sitting. See Twitter, isn’t always about what I have to say, but it’s about listening to what others have to say. Listening-that’s my forte-I got this.
So I started Tweeting. Where an author is concerned-it is a very, very useful tool. Through Miss Rae I found a contest called “Pitch Madness.” If writing contests were a dance, Ms. Brenda Drake, she would be the Belle of the Ball (along with her team-I am sure she would say.)
This contest included my submission of a 35 word pitch and the first 250 words of my manuscript. I sent in my work and waited. Checking twitter every few hours, following new people in my same position, making connections and friends. All was said and done, and I didn’t make the cut. I had already learned so much though that it was okay. It was worth it. I received some feedback on my pitch and found that those involved remembered my story, and better yet-they liked it! I even received a surprise email request from one of the agents in the contest. I was elated. This didn’t mean that I was going to get a deal, but it did mean that someone, outside of my family think my story just might be interesting.
Pitch contests may not be for everyone. I like feedback. I know that failure is really just a setback on a long journey. A no-just makes me push harder. These types of contests work for me, but I can see how they may not for others.
Pitch Madness was followed up with a Twitter Pitch Party where I constructed a number of 140 character pitches. I had, said pitches, scheduled to go twice per hour, only to learn that for three full hours, not a single pitch was sent (My lack of Twitter knowledge). Ah shucks. I had to revisit and send them manually-learning along the way. The result-three requests and a slew of new acquaintances. I may not get an agent from either of these contests, but for me HOPE is worth a lot. I learned that my story does have a place and more than that-that I can be picky. I can select only the right person or the right publisher for my book-someone that most likely participates on Twitter. The reach is amazing.
In closing, Lessons Learned By This New Twit:
Writing (Pitch) Contests can be fun, even when you fail.
Getting out of your comfort zone and meeting new/nice people is really worth it.
Being a Twit, isn’t quite so bad.
Business and Marketing exist in Authorship and I got this.
One day, my name will be on a published book! (How can it not with all that I am learning)
Just because my story isn’t right for one person, doesn’t mean it won’t be for another. (Keep that feedback coming)
Thank you so much Brenda Drake and the entire team at Pitch Madness. What a wonderful learning experience for a new author like me. A special thanks to Rae Chang for her kindness during a very scary experience-it may not have been much for you, but it changed my whole outlook on what being an author really means. Your kind words led me to Twitter and Pitch Madness. Pitch Madness gave me hope. You gave me hope! Thank you!
Oh, and Twitter, that’s my new medium. I am now an expert-I invented that place! (okay not really-but one day)
Yesterday, I had the stomach flu. I found myself slicing bananas for sidekicks lunch, hunched over because that is the only way I felt relief and feeling like every slice of the banana was like a slice through my very soul. Over-dramatic? Yes. Real. Yes, yes, yes!
Today, I think I might live.
A friend of mine recently had a four-day bout with strep. I think we both realized, on different levels, that mom cannot be sick. It doesn’t matter how supportive and helpful your husband is-the kids still need Mom. As endearing and lovely as it feels now, at the time, the small requests and battles are very overwhelming.
I didn’t get the day off. Instead, I found myself laying on a blanket on the lawn or trampoline while the kids played outside. Trying not to move on the couch watching as our toy room became ground zero, the kids watching far too much tv.
I tried really hard to be gentle and loving, a good mom, but I fear I failed. However, we made it. The kids are alive and well and incredibly happy to see mom her old self again today.
I would never venture to assume this battle is anything like that seen when an actual Black Hawk goes down, but in our little spot of the world, when mom gets sick, it feels very much that way.
But, as mom’s do, we get up anyway. We make lunch, the kids still get a bath-or at least dressed-okay at least diapers get changed. Drinks get made, and kids still get hugs. How we do it, I don’t know-but we do. Being a mom is pretty powerful stuff. It gives me power I never knew I had.
I also realized my sidekicks love me quite a bit. They were awesome yesterday! So, for each and every mother-I send magical, powerful, immune increasing fairy dust-cause being sick-well, it just can’t happen.
My daughter was born with a cleft lip. When I found out, I was terrified. It was the unknown and the concern for her happiness, not just her health that kept my heart in my throat for months. I am embarrassed to admit that I found myself asking, “Why her? Why me? Why us?” It was so huge.
I am now on the other side, and here, I carry power. The power of knowledge that everything is going to be okay. That we can do this! But in that moment, before the knowledge, I doubted my own strength. There was a time though, that I finally realized something amazing. “God Don’t Make No Mistakes.”
I have a very dear friend that is going through something very similar right now, only bigger. She is such an amazing soul. She has been my friend forever, from the time we were in diapers. I love her. It is through her that my message has truly been confirmed.
She, I will call her Tammy, was always the person that chose others before herself. She was always kind even when she didn’t agree. She was one of the first to call me and check in after Sidekick 1 was born and always has kind words of encouragement. When we had different friends and different groups, I could still call her my friend and I know she would agree. She has friends for days with good reason. She is beautiful and smart-the whole package. Why her? Why her baby?
Life isn’t fair. But one thing I know for certain is that her baby is one lucky little angel. What better place for that child to be than in the arms of my friend Tammy?
Through her, my friend, and the angel my life has already been touched. What an amazing soul. Thank you for reminding me.
I may not be perfect. I may have some bad days mixed in with the good. I may doubt myself and my ability to be the best mother for my children. Sometimes I may find myself asking the question, “why me?” when things get hard. I am realizing even more every day though that I was made just for my children. Every choice, action, and even hardship has made me the person and mother that I am. I am one of God’s perfect choices. I was made to be the mother of my children and that is powerful. It is with great honor that I say, “Thank you for choosing me.”
My friend Tammy: There would be no better place. I believe that. I’m here for you.
Following up on last weeks 10 Tips for a Great Resume post, here are a few more tips to helping you land the job of your dreams.
1-From Head to Toe, It all Will Show. You must look the part, from your head to your feet. This includes your hair style and your shoes. Yes, they will notice the dirty old converse shoes with your nice tie, and they will know that the shoes, are probably the real representation of what you will dress like everyday. What they won’t know is where you got your clothes, so head on over to a thrift store and find something that looks nice.
2-Shake Like a Fish, for a Job You’ll Still Wish. Start the interview right, with a firm confident hand shake. Don’t crush hands, but show you belong there and that you believe in yourself through all of your actions. If you are struggling with your own confidence, reach deep, practice in the mirror and find it.
3-From First Sight, They’ll Know if You’re Right. First impressions are real. I knew within the first minute of the interview if I was going to hire that person or not. I can only remember 2 times where I changed my mind because the interview didn’t match my first impression. It matters-get it right. It’s okay to be nervous, but be confident and believe in yourself. (It’s harsh, I know, but it is true. I did change my mind though, so don’t give up if you think you may have bombed)
4-A Sentence or Two, and That Will Do. When asked a question, answer it. Give an example if you can. Then end. Trust me, the more you talk, does not make you look smarter or more fitting for the job. In fact, the interviewer probably has a full day of interviews to check off their list, and they have already made their mind up about you (see previous). Don’t be the person that puts them behind schedule because they are too kind to cut you off. An indicator that you are talking too much: the interviewer is doodling on a notepad because they are bored, or you having to ask them to repeat the question halfway through your own story. Keep that positive impression rolling with your task oriented-to the point-answers.
5-Research and Know, Before you Go. Know what you are applying for. Make sure before you show up that you have read the job description and understand the tasks. Take time to get to the know the company and make sure it is a good fit for you. This will also help you as you prepare for the interview to emphasis your skills and talents that match with the company vision. It is a good idea to have a couple of questions to ask at the end, in relation to the company, but certainly isn’t required.
6-At Five To,,,, The Late One is You. Be ten minutes early. This shows it matters to you. It also is a representation of future performance. This is a big deal, so when asked in the future to do something important, this shows you will make it happen. Truthfully, they most likely won’t know you were there early, however, they will know if you are late, and just on the off chance they are ready to go a couple of minutes early and you aren’t there….then they notice. Don’t take that chance. Be early, it helps your confidence, nothing worse than feeling rushed to add to the level of stress. Traffic does happen, and if for some reason you are ill prepared: Call and let them know you are running late.
7-If You Can Do It, Prove It. When asked a question, always (within a reasonable amount of sentences), give an example of a time when you have done something similar or applicable. It is a good idea to have ten great examples of things you have done above and beyond, prepared and written down prior to the interview, this way, when asked a question you can choose from one of those ten which applies to the question. If you think about it, you can probably make it work by focusing on different parts of the activity. This shows application skills, hard work, and can be a time to show off your awesomeness!
8-I’m not weak, I’m an Improving Freak. You will most likely be asked for your greatest strength and your greatest weakness. We all have them. When asked what your greatest weakness is, make sure you answer in a way that also highlights your strengths, example: “My greatest opportunity is time management, however, I am aware of this and have made great strides to improve. Some of the ways that I have found work for me is by utilizing my outlook calendar and creating task lists on my desktop with sticky notes that I get to check off when I complete it.” See-we all have “opportunities” but this is an example of showing improvement.
9-You Got This Far, Now Be a Star. Getting the interview is the hardest part. There is a reason you are here-so believe in yourself and your abilities. If you don’t think you can do the job, it will show. Likewise, if you know you will be great, they will see it in all that you say. Apply above what you have done in the past, and challenge yourself to improve.
10-If You Choose to Lie, It Probably Won’t Fly. Nobody is perfect. You are looking for a job for a reason, know what that is. Hopefully, it is because you want to improve and this position is up from where you are. If you have a track record of job hopping, maybe you need to look at yourself, honestly. If you lie about where you have been or what you have done, it will come out in your job performance if not in the interview itself. Don’t be that person, instead honestly look at your past and come up with some examples of what you have done well and stick to it. Believe in a better future for yourself and become it.
I had to scrape the ice off of my own windshield yesterday. I haven’t had to do that in years. Not because I am not capable, but because I am married to a man who always does it for me. When I say always, I mean always. I have a garage now so it isn’t as much of an issue, but in the past, if my husband was in a mile radius of me, he took care of it. At times he even got up to scrape my window, even if I left the house before him (even after an all night shift). Not only did he take care of me, but my mother and sisters windows were also always scraped if they were in his presence. He’s a good guy like that.
As I was scraping my window I was thinking of him, missing him, and I realized something. I have learned so much about the language of love from the great man I call my husband.
You see, when he scrapes my windows for me, what he is really saying is, “I love you.”
He says, “I love you,” every time I come home to a clean house, or a nicely manicured yard. He’s telling me, “I really love you,” when he watches the kids and sends me to the open hot tub, jets on, glass of wine..with my book.
He tells me that I matter when he cooks my favorite dinner, or leaves me breakfast when our paths don’t quite pass. He tells me that I am important when he asks about my day, or checks in on how I am doing when he knows it’s just me and the kids.
When he watches the musical movie from 1986, I know I am important, or when he finds a place for those silly old encyclopedias from 1964, teasing me only a little, I know he will love me forever.
See love, is often disguised very much as every day life.
Love is asking yourself, what can I do today to make life a little easier or better. Love is in the small acts, the every day commitments.
As I scrape the ice off my window today I think, “Thanks Hon, you wise old soul you, I love you too!”
We are in preschool mode at our house. Seeing the ABC’s as the framework for so much, I started thinking about how they can guide me too.
From my Children to me, my Motherhood ABC’s.
Always be my friend. I know you are my mom, but be my friend too
Be there for me. No matter what, even when I am wrong.
Create with me. Help my imagination grow.
Don’t forget yourself. I learn what life should look like by watching you.
Everyday matters. Help me see this.
Family first and always.
God loves me. God loves you.
Happiness comes from within. Then it shines out. Let yours shine.
I matter. So do you. I will believe I do, when I see you do.
Just because it didn’t happen this time, doesn’t mean it won’t. Don’t you give up on your dreams either.
Kisses and Hugs show everyday love. I love them. Even when I grow older, keep trying, I will remember.
Let me grow. Teach me right and let me go.
Making mistakes is a part of life. Help me to learn and make better choices next time.
Never forget your are my mom. Be my friend, but be my mom first.
One day at a time. I am a work of art. The Mona Lisa wasn’t painted in a day.
Perfection doesn’t exist. It’s okay to make mistakes.
Quit trying to be like everyone else’s mom. You are my mom for a reason and I need you just the way you are.
Read to me. Lifelong lessons can be found in books, and the time spent together.
Smile when you feel it, and cry when you don’t. Let your emotions show, so I will learn too that this is okay.
Tell me about when you were my age. I want to be like you, show me that you were once like me.
Understand me. Let me tell you about what I think too, then help me learn and grow.
Very special memories for me, are often disguised as everyday moments for you. It’s the small things.
What matters most is time with you. Not the prizes and toys, but time.
X-tra special, that’s what you are. I love you and I think you are the very best in the whole wide world.
Yell less. Explain more.
Zero. The number of times I haven’t been glad you are my mom. Even if I say otherwise, I wouldn’t want any mom but you.
and
123’s Everyday
1– thing for you, as a person, to make you happy and whole
2– things for me, with you at my side, on my own level
3– chances to learn something new from you. The small things matter. Explain something I don’t understand. Teach me a new word or a new way of doing things. Even if I don’t get it today, I might tomorrow.
As a stay at home mom, every shower must be scheduled. (It’s even worse for a working mom-as there is that time factor). A few things must take place before said shower can occur:
Kids must be fed
Baby cannot be crying
Everything must be safe and securely in place with “no no” areas, promptly closed off
Drinks and a snack for kids must be prepared and accessible
Favorite doll and pull along vacuum-at the ready
Now Hurry!
Today, after much preparation, I watched as sidekick #2 removed the towel from the bathroom rack dragging it behind him out of room, returning only to pull every inch of toilet paper off the roll and onto the floor.
Ugh…
So at the end of my shower I stand, freezing, calling sidekick #1 to find my towel, trying to avoid creating clumps of wet toilet paper on my feet. I wait, “patiently” as she hands me varying colors of hand towels, laughing.
Finally, a towel.
This moment makes me realize as I hear the words, “Let me just jump in the shower really quickly” no stress or worry in their voice, that a shower is no big deal and even, dare I say, relaxing. I think to myself: “I don’t know what that is!”
